


From Somewhere Within

by Thatmalu



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alpha Beverly Marsh, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beta Ben Hanscom, Beta Bill Denbrough, Beta Mike Hanlon, Beta Richie Tozier, Beta Stanley Uris, Blood and Violence, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Castration, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Eddie Kaspbrak Has a Bad Time, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak Needs A Hug, Eddie Kaspbrak Whump, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Everyone else is Beta, Forced Feminization, Forced Pregnancy, Gang Rape, Graphic Description, Heavy Angst, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Abortion, M/M, Mates, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Misgendering, Mpreg, Murder, Mutilation, Mutual Pining, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Omega Drops, Omega Eddie Kaspbrak, Protective Losers Club (IT), Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Slurs, Soft Richie Tozier, Stabbing, Top Richie Tozier, Violence, Whump, Young Adult Losers Club (IT), whump up the wazoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:06:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatmalu/pseuds/Thatmalu
Summary: There were many reasons Richie had wished he was an Alpha. For one thing, finding out he couldn’t mate-bond with the boy he had been in love with since Kindergarten was crushing, to say the least. He had planned on keeping his feelings suppressed, knowing that most Omegas ended with Alphas, leaving Betas to just kind of settle for each other. There were only ever a few rare instances in which a Beta could end up without another Beta -- and it was usually with an Alpha, like Ben and Beverly.Right now, though… right now Richie craved the rage, the powerful possessive dynamic that would send an Alpha into a frenzy. He had seen it in Beverly before, the only Alpha of their pack. Partially, he wanted it to fuel him and use it to fuck up the Bowers’ pack royally. A more depressing thought was that, despite how deeply enraged and sickened Richie was feeling by this, he felt his Beta emotions could not match the heinous thing done to his best friend.His hatred and sickness just didn’t feel like enough.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 96





	From Somewhere Within

**Author's Note:**

> wow, look at all those tags.  
> yee of faint hearts do not enter here.  
> plenty of tags there to stop you from reading what you don't want to. I tried to add anything I could think of that could be triggering.  
> that's really all I can say on that matter. don't like the subject, please do not read.
> 
> thank you @ drakarifire for the blueprints of this idea. i'm sorry it took me nearly half a goddamn year to write it.  
> thank you for letting me take your wonderfully fucked up thoughts and turning them into something that ends weirdly tender.
> 
> the first halfish of this is the most fucked up. believe it or not it ends quite sweet.
> 
> fic title from lyrics of Oceans by Seafret <3 it feels like a pining Reddie song to me

*******

Hot, humid musk of Alpha sent Eddie’s head spiraling, his body reeling from all it’s unpleasantness. Most of it was behind him, so he couldn’t really help but fall forward when Patrick’s arms released him, only for his already frail body to fall limply on Belch’s chest once Belch had slid himself up into Eddie’s hole. The aroma of his body was pungent, _putrid,_ pressing into his nostrils as harshly as a swarm of wasps, but one of Belch’s arms wrapped around Eddie’s head and pinned him down against him while he continued to fuck up into Eddie roughly.

Despite the burning heat in the air, Patrick’s cold laugh sent a shiver down Eddie’s spine and caused him to whimper, only fueling the pack's delight. They loved his misery and he was pretty sure the only reason they didn’t force a mate bond on him was so they could use up him and toss him away once he was completely and utterly destroyed. 

That breaking point was coming awfully close.

Patrick’s greasy hands roughly grabbed Eddie’s wrists from where his small hands were pressing against the ground, feebly trying to no avail to push himself away from Belch’s scent. He was so dizzy from his heat and weary from Patrick’s idea of _foreplay_ that he hadn’t noticed his stale scent until it was in front of him, bitter as the lighter fluid and gasoline he loved to play with so much. Patrick pulled Eddie’s arms forward, stretching him out over Belch’s chest and keeping him pinned tightly down, which allowed Belch to reach down and pull Eddie’s legs up higher where they were straddling him, gripping the back of his knees and spreading his cheeks out more obscenely for Henry’s view. 

“Think this little bitch can take it?” Henry growled lowly from behind Eddie, where he could hear him stroking himself.

“Of course she will,” Patrick laughed, digging his nails into Eddie’s wrists and spitting into Eddie’s face. He loved referring to Eddie as _she_ almost as much as he loved calling him their plaything. Which really, that’s all he was at this point. He wasn’t sure what the _it_ was they wanted him to take, but he had no choice.

Eddie tensed at the sensation of someone’s cock at his hole where Belch was already thrusting, tears filling his eyes as he tried to squeeze them shut. It _hurt_ taking two of them with a knot, despite his body gushing out all his slick, because it simply was not meant to be doing this, and none of them cared to make this easy or good for him. The worse it was for him, the more delighted they seemed to be.

The tears bunched up at the bridge of his nose where his head was tilted against Belch’s chest, and Eddie could feel it mix with Patrick’s spit on his face. He couldn’t help himself crying out as he felt someone -- who he’d later realize was Vic -- shove himself in, not hesitating to start fucking into him once his cock was snug inside. 

At this point, Eddie was just babbling and sputtering up pathetic noises his body elicited while the two Alpha cocks were fucking him, irregular and out of sync, both simply rutting into their own pleasure and not worrying about the bitch Omega between them, as if _it_ had feelings at all. Almost all of Eddie’s head was full of their grunting, his own high-pitched pleas for it to stop, and the wet squelching of his slick being pounded out of him.

Suddenly, one of Patrick’s hands gripped Eddie’s hair, pulling his head up to look at him. Eddie tried to keep his eyes shut, but a hard smack to his face and Alpha orders demanded him otherwise.

_“Look at me bitch."_

Patrick’s eyes were glazed over with the lust of his rut, and even with the painful sensations that Eddie couldn’t steer his mind from that were peaking deep inside him as both Vic and Belch were about to start knotting, he could notice Patrick’s cock leaking, ready to have his own way with their little bitch.

“You’re gonna be a good fucking Omega slut and take me and Henry’s knots in your hole for me?”

Eddie’s eyes widened, burning behind his incredulous gaze at Patrick’s gleeful, sickening face. 

“NonononopleasedontpleasedontIcanttakeitplease,” Eddie babbled incomprehensibly as his body began to shudder, but Patrick shoved something _wet_ in Eddie’s mouth, something tasting of chemicals and rubbing alcohol, and he can faintly hear Patrick urging Vic over before his head was shoved down into Belch’s hard shoulder.

Vic pulled himself out, giving Eddie just a moment of relief before Henry took Vic’s place and maneuvered himself forward, leaning over Eddie as much as possible to allow Patrick room, Henry now towering over Eddie without any care for what this was doing to his neck, his back, his insides, as if any of them could even register that this was a _person_ between their bodies. Eddie was already half of each of their sizes, now sandwiched between two grunting Alphas, shivering violently in pain, or as much as they would let him shiver as they pressed their filthy paws on every inch of him to keep him still and ready.

Not that he’d ever be ready for this.

“You know why you get all of us?” Henry growled in Eddie’s ear. “So when your belly is full of pups, you’ll have no idea which one of us put them there - or if you’ve got one of each of us growing in there. You’ll have no choice but to be all of our collective bitch after we breed you. Alphas breed fast with you bitches, nothing like Betas. Can’t be too careful by fucking you one at a time; you’d be bred before two of us are done.”

A silly thought popped into Eddie’s head; that he didn’t even have a nest to go back to, because he could never afford him the luxury of enough time for something like that, working himself to the bone for his minimum wage job and college courses. Whenever Henry’s pack found him, he wasn’t allowed to feel anything but the pain they inflicted, all from Patrick’s sadism and the others’ complete callousness. Patrick usually liked to keep Eddie around after just to remind him what they’ve _done,_ so Eddie never saw a point in nesting at home regardless. All he could do was wash away their stench and filth and curl up in his bed, closest to --

No, it was too painful to think about him right now.

The rag is pulled out of Eddie’s mouth, just after being replaced by Vic’s dick, cramming down far enough to gag him, tasting of Eddie’s own slick. A long, guttural scream tore through Eddie’s throat against the knotting cock shoved in there as he felt Patrick forcing himself between the knots of Belch and Henry already inside of him. His body vibrated as if trying to push out the welcome guests, but it only seemed to spur them on. He was _full_ of them, _surrounded_ by them at literally every inch of his existence, Belch and Henry each grunting and panting in each of Eddie’s ears, his face pressed into Vic’s crotch as the others’ hot breath swarmed Eddie’s face with their Alpha scent.

Patrick was fully in and knotting and the searing, burning pain ripped through Eddie all the way to his skull, his eyes rolling back as his eyes fluttered shut, the three knots in his hole with the fourth stretching out his throat simply too painful for his mind to _comprehend_. The last thing he could remember before everything went black was Patrick’s cold laugh.

*******

Mike’s expression was grave as he handed Richie a cup of herbal tea where he sat next to the tub. It was a special concoction that was supposed to help ease an Omega out of their drop, settle their nerves and balance the extremeness of their hormones. He scooted down to sit on the other end, brushing Richie’s leg briefly with his own and staring down at his lap, feeling guilty that he couldn’t quite look into the tub.

“Hey, Eds,” Richie said softly, leaning over the porcelain. “Can you try drinking this for me?”

The small Omega was curled up in the hot water, surrounded by suds of bubblebath that Stanley had suggested to cover up all the blood they could still see in the water. Since then, Stan had retired to the living room with Bill and Ben. Eddie was becoming overwhelmed by all the people surrounding him, even if they were all Betas. However, he seemed to have calmed down just enough to gingerly reach for the small mug and bring it to his lips.

“Can we ask you about it?” Richie asked as softly as he could, willing his voice not to shake in his distress.

Eddie did not respond, simply staring into the steam of the mug until he gave the slightest of nods one would miss if they blinked. 

“Was it Patrick?”

There was a reaction there, a shudder through Eddie’s body as his face welled up again, but he didn’t lash out or scream, simply nodding again. “All of them,” he said softly.

They knew ‘all of them’ was to mean the four Alphas out of Henry’s pack, the four cruelest people to have been given that kind of extreme power. This wasn’t the first time any of them had laid hands on Eddie. After Eddie’s first heat in high school, Patrick and Belch had sniffed poor Eddie out where he had been hiding from his mother in the clubhouse. They never risked going there again, trying their best to keep an eye on Eddie’s heat schedule and well-being. Once they graduated, it was difficult to keep track of each other sometimes, having all either started school in Orono or began working locally, trying to keep their little pack together until they found a safe place to go outside of Maine.

During one of Eddie’s recent heats, it had come unexpectedly, and he had tried desperately to get out of work early, but these shitty corporate businesses would rather you work through life-threatening illness than let you leave your shift. So he left late, hormonal and delirious, only to be caught walking home by Henry’s pack. Since Eddie was too terrified to tell anyone, they must have figured they could get away with it again… and again. 

The only solace any of the Losers had was that the Bowers’ pack never mated Eddie, forcing him to be bonded with any of the sadistic hounds. None of them knew it had happened any of the other times until tonight, and they all felt like shit for never knowing, never being able to _smell_ it on Eddie. Their only Alpha had been away each time, distancing herself from the discomfort of Eddie’s heat so as to make him feel _safe;_ the irony was not lost on any of them.

But he was always good at masking his symptoms, all thanks to his upbringing.

“Which ones were Alpha?” Mike asked quietly.

“Patrick, Henry, Vic, and Belch,” Richie told him. His stomach was tight, watching Eddie probably reliving whatever he had been through in his head. It was wrong to think, but he knew that an Omegas body was made for a knot, so even if it wasn’t consensual, even if it was horrific, there shouldn’t be _that much blood_. “Eddie… what did they do?”

“They -- they were all _in me_ ,” Eddie shuddered, more tears spilling down his face. “All - all at once.” 

Mike’s reaction was visceral, his face contorting in shock and Richie felt his chest cave in and turn cold with rage and aching despair.

“At… at once… but -- why -- ?”

“Patrick probably thought it would be _funny,”_ Eddie cried quietly, letting his head fall against the tile. “Vic was in my mouth to keep me quiet. But the others wanted -- they wanted to b-b-breed me. Said they wanted all their pups at once. And then they -- the other three were all… I can’t -- I can’t remember what happened after -- after they were all -- I blacked out.”

“Hey, it’s ok,” Mike cooed, finally leaning over to where Eddie was. “You don’t have to talk about it if you can’t.”

There were many reasons Richie had wished he was an Alpha. For one thing, finding out he couldn’t mate-bond with the boy he had been in love with since Kindergarten was crushing, to say the least. He had planned on keeping his feelings suppressed, knowing that most Omegas ended with Alphas, leaving Betas to just kind of settle for each other. There were only ever a few rare instances in which a Beta could end up without another Beta -- and it was usually with an Alpha, like Ben and Beverly. 

Right now, though… right now Richie craved the _rage_ , the powerful possessive dynamic that would send an Alpha into a frenzy. He had seen it in Beverly before, the only Alpha of their pack. Partially, he wanted it to fuel him and use it to fuck up the Bowers’ pack royally. A more depressing thought was that, despite how deeply enraged and sickened Richie was feeling by this, he felt his Beta emotions could not match the heinous thing done to his best friend.

His hatred and sickness just didn’t feel like _enough._

“Beverly said she was going to come over as soon as she can,” Ben said quietly when Richie and Mike came into the living room, letting Stanley tend to Eddie cautiously (since he was the only one of them in pre-med and had just the _slightest_ bit of enough knowledge to tend to him). 

“She said she had… exciting news,” said Bill.

 _“Exciting?”_ Richie snapped. “Did you not fucking tell her how we found him?”

“She knows, Rich,” Ben assured him. “She’s just as upset as us -- ” (Although Richie doubts tremendously that anyone is feeling as badly as himself about what happened to their smallest pack member) “ -- but she said she has… something that will help. She should be here by tomorrow.”

“What do we do until then?” Bill asked quietly.

“What do you mean what do we do?” Richie said angrily. “We stay with Eddie.”

“He should go to a doctor,” Mike said.

“He doesn’t want to see one.”

“Richie… after what he just said?”

“What happened?” Ben asked.

But Richie couldn’t bear to hear again, turning on his heel to return to the hallway. The bathroom door was wide open, the room and bathtub empty, so he continued down the hall to the downstairs bedroom he and Eddie shared, knocking gently. There was some murmuring behind the door before Richie heard Stanley tell him to come in.

“Richie,” Eddie cried softly, his little body bundled under the blankets of his bed, the closest to the door. Acting instinctively, Richie ran over to the bed and sat on the edge, letting Eddie fling himself into Richie’s lap and squeeze his thighs. 

“I’m here, Eds,” Richie whispered, running a hand through Eddie’s still wet hair.

“We agreed he should see a doctor,” Stanley told him. “But he’s afraid to leave.”

“Can you blame him?” Richie asked, trying not to bite it out and make Eddie scared.

“Someone can come by,” Stan continued, sitting on the other side of the bed. “They’ll… want to do tests and stuff, so if you want us all to be out, Eddie…”

Eddie shook his head fervently in Richie’s lap, water droplets splashing against Richie’s jeans in small, darkening spots. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Bev is going to come here tomorrow, too,” Richie whispered softly. “I know you miss her.”

Truthfully, Bev had not been away from home long, but there was a stale presence in the house with their one Alpha gone. A group of Betas and one Omega were pretty hopeless without one, to be fair, regardless of the circumstances. Some of them worried that Eddie might be hesitant about her being home after this, but a soft smile -- the first genuine one Eddie had since they found him -- spread on his face.

“I miss my Alpha,” he sighed.

A pang of unwarranted jealousy radiated through Richie’s gut, pausing his hand there on Eddie’s head. “She’s -- she's not _your_ Alpha, Eds.”

Stan shot him a look, but Richie (or so he would reason with himself) just wanted to make sure Eddie wasn’t delirious in his drop. Bev hadn’t mated anyone before, nor had she expressed an interest in doing so. She loved her pack too much, and none of them wanted anyone else in it. All of her attempts at marking Ben were moot, but neither of them seemed to care. Beverly got her Alpha needs met, and they both got to be with the loves of their lives. 

It was different with Omegas though -- at least from what Richie had been told all of his life. Eddie would never be happy with a Beta; _his_ needs couldn’t be met like that.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Eddie muttered sheepishly, his smile fading. “She’s -- she's my friend. That’s all I meant.”

Richie ignored Stan’s _look what you did_ stare and he continued to whisper soothingly to Eddie in the bed while Stan made appointments. Someone would be out as soon as they can, they said. 

The other Losers dispersed, deciding on going out to get groceries to make Eddie's favorite dinner. He hadn’t eaten since lunch the previous day, since he had been snatched on his way home before dinner the night before. Stan left to make something small for Eddie to try and eat, probably some toast to settle Eddie’s stomach down.

“You’re going to stay with me, right?” he asked Richie once they were alone.

“Of course I am, Eds. I’m not going anywhere.”

“What am I gonna do about work…” Eddie mumbled. Of _all_ things for him to think about. 

“They’ll deal without you for the afternoon. Have the doctor call when they’re done tomorrow as a backup, ok? Take the day to rest before you see her tomorrow. Then Beverly will be back by evening.”

The physician showed up -- Dr. Sham, her name was. House calls were uncommon, but given the circumstances, it would be hard for Alphas or other Omegas not to smell what had happened on Eddie. At least, that’s what was explained to Stan over the phone. Since the rest of them were all Betas, they couldn’t really _sense_ those kinds of things. The doctor had said their coming over was basically protecting HIPAA, considering how easily detectable it would’ve been if Eddie was around people.

Silent tears streaked his face when he came back alone from the restroom, handing Dr. Sham a sample she could test there. _It happens quickly with Omegas. Betas have to wait a bit, but the Omega body will know right away._ The other tests were far more invasive, and Eddie's small hand shook in Richie’s the entire time while he laid on the sterile covering laid on the bed. Richie tried his best to keep Eddie's eyes on his own and whisper silly stories from when they were little to distract him, sitting on his knees at the side of the bed. It didn’t work in the slightest, but Eddie pretended it did and that alone took Richie by surprise by how goddamn strong he was through all this.

“So this… is going to be a little difficult to digest, Mr. Kaspbrak,” Dr. Sham said slowly, disposing of some gloves in her toxic waste bin.

“I’m pregnant,” Eddie cried softly, tears filling his eyes again. “They put their monsters in me. I can feel it.”

Dr. Sham took a deep breath before continuing, looking at Eddie very earnestly. “You’re not going to be able to have children, Eddie.”

Richie broke his gaze from Eddie for the first time since Dr. Sham arrived, both looking at her incredulously.

“I’m -- I’m sorry?”

“What they did -- what it seems like they did… Yes, your body is registering a pregnancy, but soon it’s going to realize it can’t carry to term and abort on it’s own. Likely very soon. There’s too much internal damage.”

Eddie blinked. “Oh.”

 _Not enough rage,_ Richie thought, balling up his fist. _Not enough rage in the world for something like this._

“I can give you something so you can deal with it at home, comfortably. Thankfully it’s early enough to use an oral prescription for the termination. I’ll give you medicine, some sanitary napkins, plus some other things to help ease you through it while your body… passes them out. It’s good that you have such supportive… Betas here in your pack.”

“Ok,” was all Eddie said. Numb. Empty.

 _There is not enough pain in the world for what I want them to feel,_ Richie thought. 

“My mom knew this would happen,” Eddie said softly an hour later, staring at the little pills he displayed on a Kleenex while he trailed his fingers up the condensation of his glass of water. “When she found out I was an Omega. She always told me this would happen if I left her house.”

“What were you supposed to do, Eddie?” Richie asked desperately. “Hide in your mom's closet for the _rest of your life?”_

“Maybe.”

“This isn’t anything _you did,”_ Richie said earnestly. “This was all _them,_ and they would’ve done it no matter _what._ I swear to Maturin, Eds, I will fucking _kill them.”_

“No, you won’t,” Eddie said, his voice flat. He frowned and Richie saw his nostrils flare up, but before he could ask Eddie what was wrong, a voice sounded from the doorway.

“Hey.”

They both looked up, Beverly looking over at them cautiously where she lingered. She looked too terrified to get any nearer to Eddie, who looked hesitant himself to get up and greet her.

“Nice to have you home,” Richie attempted to smile up at her, reaching over to take Eddie’s hand. He wished he had that Alpha sense to really _taste_ how Eddie was doing, smell the emotions on him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Eddie muttered right away, looking back down at his medicine. 

“That’s ok, Eddie,” Beverly said softly, drumming her fingers on the wood on the doorframe. “Do you mind if I steal Richie for a moment?”

Richie was about to protest, but Eddie’s hand slid right out of his in an instant, his body curling up on the chair. “S’fine.”

“Can it wait?” Richie asked.

“No, just go,” Eddie told him. “It’s just the other room. I’m fine.”

Richie just had to accept that as it was, he supposed, getting up quietly and following Beverly out into the living room. She was almost vibrating with energy, plopping down on the couch beside Ben and looking up at him eagerly, the others gathered around them silently.

“I can still smell all of those fuckers on him,” she said quietly. “It makes me sick. But, luckily, I have a plan.” She was speaking to the group as a whole, but she looked at Richie directly as she spoke.

“Which is…?” Stan gestured to her to continue.

“Well, first… I have a confession to make to you all,” she said slowly. “Just… hang tight for this ok.”

“You have a poison that can rot an Alpha’s dick off and make them suffer slowly until they die?” Richie asked bitterly.

“Not quite. I… wasn’t always an Alpha.”

Bill perked his head up from where it had been leaning on his hand. “Come again?”

Beverly took a deep breath, planting her hands on her knees before addressing the confused group. “Before my father died… I was… a Beta.”

“How?” Bill asked. “That’s not… that’s not possible is it?” He turned his head to Mike, who was staring at Beverly with narrowed eyes.

“It… is possible,” Mike said slowly. “They say the only way to really do that is by taking an Alpha’s status… Which isn’t possible unless you… Beverly, did you do what I think you did?”

“Do _what?”_ Richie asked impatiently, feeling all the nerves in his body buzzing like static under his skin.

“I killed my father,” Beverly said firmly. “Before I came here to Derry with my aunt. They ruled it self-defense, because it _was,_ but after I took his life, my body… changed.”

“Murder,” Stan said darkly. “A Beta needs to murder an Alpha to become one.”

“I’ve heard that you can become a more powerful Alpha through sheer force of will,” Ben piped up. “Like, strength of character.”

“Fairytale bullshit,” Stan said firmly. “No one has seen that happen.”

“But,” Mike began. “We know the other way isn’t impossible.”

Richie turned and saw that Bill was looking back at him determinedly, the same idea ruminating in their heads. 

“So, you’re telling us this because…” Mike trailed off.

“Well, there’s five of you Betas,” Beverly shrugged, leaning back against the couch. “And four very, very awful Alphas out there the world doesn’t have a use for.”

“But,” Ben said. “Why would we -- ”

“To protect our Omega!” Richie bit at him without hesitation. “We’re just a bunch of Beta bitches that can’t fucking _do_ anything! And as long as those four are fucking running around -- ”

“Hey!”

They all jumped, turning to look at a fuming, red-faced Eddie staring at them all from the kitchen, his tiny body shaking.

“Any of you fuckers think to maybe ask me how I fucking feel about this?”

Beverly, Ben, and Mike bowed their heads guiltily, but the others were still filled with determination.

“Eddie, don’t you think Derry -- hell, _the world -_ would be better off?” Stan reasoned.

“By _killing_ people?”

“You said it yourself, they’re monsters!” Richie told him. 

“And what would that make you if you kill them?” Eddie croaked, looking on the verge of tears again as his voice and body shook. 

“Eds -- ”

“Don’t you dare try to fucking reason with me about this!” Eddie shouted. “I am not -- I _will_ not fucking agree to letting you become a murderer, Richie!”

“Eddie,” Bill said gently, getting up to attempt to solace him. “You’re right -- it’s not our decision to take revenge for you. I promise we won’t.”

Richie turned his head to snap at Bill, but Stan’s hand grabbed Richie’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly. He gave Richie a meaningful look to _shut up,_ which gave Beverly an opportunity to apologize.

“Eddie, I’m sorry I brought it up,” Beverly began, her voice soft but firm in a way that always grabbed attention. “It was stupid of me to do without talking to you about it first. Bill’s right -- we promise we won’t go out looking for revenge, ok?”

Eddie still looked livid enough to bash their heads in one at a time, but Beverly’s voice seemed to soothe him over. Without a word, he pursed his lips and turned on his heel back into the kitchen.

Where Stan’s grip was still on Richie’s shoulder, he gently pulled Richie close enough to whisper out of Eddie’s earshot.

“We promised we wouldn’t get revenge. Doesn’t mean we can’t still do Derry a favor and murder the shit out of them to save someone else.”

*******

“You sure you don’t need anything, Eddie?” Richie asked through the doorway. 

Many weeks had gone by and now that Eddie’s body was starting to readjust, his first heat was returning. Nothing about it particularly bothered Richie -- unless you count not having the ability to confess his undying love for the other man and mate him like he had always dreamed about.

Beverly had retired to her own bedroom, furthest away from the one Eddie and Richie shared, to give Eddie some space. In the far corner of the room, just beside Richie’s bed, Eddie had started to make a nest of clothes that belonged to all of the Losers. He had never given himself time to do it properly before, likely out of a mixture of shame and poor time management. However, having it now appeared to lower his stress levels immensely.

“I think I’m ok,” Eddie murmured, fluffing up Richie’s favorite pillow; he must have stolen it at some point when Richie was showering.

“Well, if you’re not going out, may I suggest some good porn mags for your alone time? I could go pick some up from the store.”

“Ha fucking ha, Richie,” Eddie muttered, rolling his eyes. “I don’t -- _do that_ when I’m in heat.”

“Don’t you kind of… _have_ to?” Richie asked genuinely, because he knew fuck all about Omega cycles.

“No, that’s -- that’s just some people being dramatic. Or Alphas being nasty and using it as an excuse to -- take advantage of someone.”

Richie’s grin faded as he watched the blush creep into Eddie’s cheeks, the shame of what had happened shrinking his body and making him look smaller than he already was. His usually blabbering mouth was stunned into silence while he watched Eddie needlessly shift around some shirts in his nest.

“I’ll probably be on the couch,” Richie finally said after a minute of silence. “Give you some space in here. I don’t know if my, like… scent, or whatever, is gonna fuck with you.”

Eddie looked up at him pleadingly, his fingers wringing into the nest beneath him. “Can you stay with me? Please?”

 _Please_ just about killed Richie right then and there. Legs like jello, he sunk to his knees and pathetically crawled over to Eddie like the love-sick, repressed, sad fuck that he was and let Eddie manhandle him into the nest and arrange him like one of his pillows. When Eddie seemed satisfied with the layout of everything he settled down at Richie’s side and curled up under his arm with a relaxed sigh.

Right now, while they laid in Eddie’s little homemade den and Beverly worked on school assignments in her room, the rest of their pack was out for blood. Richie’s fingers twitched at the thought of how they were finding the enemy pack -- wishing he could be part of the round up, throwing one of those pieces of shits roughly into the back of Mike’s truck. His skinny ass probably would’ve gotten beaten pretty quickly, though, so maybe it was for the best he left that stuff to Mike and Ben while Bill and Stan -- both of whom were much calmer and more rational than Richie -- assisted with ease.

Once Eddie fell asleep, Richie would sneak off into the night and meet with them at the Bowers’ old abandoned barn, where they would be saving Patrick’s kill for him. He was going to show up to a mess of blood and the stench of death and let it encourage him to sink something sharp into Patrick’s throat. 

They had agreed that Ben would not directly kill any of the Bowers’ pack, but instead let Bill, Mike, and Stanley deal with the other three before Richie got there. Ben did not want to change the dynamic he had with Beverly, even if he was a Beta. Whatever they had, it worked, and he didn’t want to fuck around with that. The others, though, would get an opportunity to tear into the others and claim their status for their own.

All Richie had to do was wait.

As he waited -- which he had already been doing for several months now -- hell, several _years,_ if he were to include his entire life leading up to the incident and his desperate desire to protect Eddie -- rage slowly rusted him from the inside out. It was so dense that he felt heavy and bitter, but when Eddie snaked his hand across his waist and held Richie firmly in the nest, that bubble nearly burst. He couldn’t help but wrap his arm around Eddie’s shoulder ever so carefully until he was sure Eddie wanted it there.

“Richie,” Eddie finally said. “You have been… really amazing through all of this.”

“I haven’t done anything special, Eddie. This is just what friends do.” _Especially ones that are in love,_ he thought ruefully. “Besides, Beverly was the one that got you that therapist. I feel like that’s been helping you a lot more than -- whatever the fuck it is I’m doing.”

“No, I know,” Eddie replied, playing with a button on Richie’s shirt. “You guys have all been really great. I don’t think I could’ve made it without a pack like ours.”

“You’re a lot braver than you think, Eddie,” Richie assured him, squeezing his shoulder tightly. “You’re also the best one of all of us. I mean, most people… most people _would_ want revenge.”

“I don’t. It’s cruel. There’s no point to it but destroying your own soul.”

Richie gulped as his mouth went dry, hoping Eddie wouldn’t notice. He didn’t reply to Eddie’s comment, feeling guilt slowly seep into him uncomfortably. Instead, he nestled his cheek against the top of Eddie’s head and started to rub his hand gently across Eddie’s shoulders soothingly. It was a pleasant calm before the storm that would come later. Richie’s body moved gently as Eddie took a deep breath against him; his hand delicately clung to Richie’s shirt. 

“You know, Richie… I always wished I could meet an Alpha like you.”

If he weren’t hanging onto Eddie, Richie swore he would have slipped through the floor and into another dimension. “What -- what do you mean by that?”

Richie was trying to keep a calm, steady voice, but it wasn’t helping whatsoever when Eddie slid his leg between Richie’s and nestled his knee practically against Richie’s crotch. 

“When we were younger, I had always secretly hoped I’d be an Omega,” Eddie continued. “Actually, it felt pretty damn inevitable. And it just felt so obvious that you and Bill were going to end up being Alphas, what with how strongly Bill led us through everything and how you… were always so goddamn attractive to me.”

“Wh-what?” Richie croaked, completely frozen where he laid underneath Eddie. 

“I just liked you so much,” Eddie sighed, almost _dreamily,_ and Richie wanted to pinch himself and wonder if this _was_ a damn dream. “I was always told I would _have_ to find an Alpha. Some Alphas can be satisfied with a Beta, but Omegas I guess don’t live very long without an Alpha mate. So I figured since I liked you so damn much, it must’ve been my body telling me, but... Once you came out to us that you were a Beta, I just figured that was it… my chance was gone. Betas, they… a lot of them are so reluctant to be with Omegas, because of how needy we seem to them. I never wanted you to feel overwhelmed or too scared to be with me; not like you like guys, anyway... ”

“Eds,” Richie finally managed to get out. “Are you being serious right now?”

Eddie finally lifted himself onto his elbow, staring up at Richie with half-lidded eyes, not unlike the look he got when he was tipsy or high. “I wasted a whole ten years I could’ve tried to be with you, thinking I had to wait around for an Alpha that was as close to you as I could get. Not only was that fucking stupid, since I’ll never meet anyone I love as much as you, but… now I’m too broken to be with anyone. I just figured since I can’t have kids anymore -- I mean, I know you’re not gay, and that’s fine -- but if you wanted to -- while I was in heat, you know -- I wouldn’t mind.”

Richie shifted so suddenly he was worried he scared Eddie, but Eddie didn’t flinch as Richie sat up to look at him more clearly. “Eddie, first of all, you are not broken. You were _never_ delicate enough to break. You are the strongest person I’ve ever fucking met. But right now I’m also really fucking pissed off that you’d think I would just -- take advantage of you like that.”

“I’m not saying that,” Eddie mumbled, sinking back down into the nest. “On the contrary, I’m telling you I’m so desperate that I wish I could take advantage of _you.”_ It sounded like he was trying to tell some offhand joke, but Richie was not remotely amused. The context was too… fresh. He leaned down and gently lifted Eddie’s chin towards him, and Eddie smiled sheepishly back up at him. “It’s the hormones talking. I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole,” Richie told him. “But you are… being really fucking weird right now. Maybe it’s the medicine the doc gave you to ease you through the heat. It’s making you stay stupid shit you don’t mean.”

“I do mean it though. Ok, maybe not the second part,” Eddie added as Richie was about to open his mouth to protest. “I’m not trying to get laid for my heat or anything, I promise. But I did -- I _do_ really like you, Richie. I’m sorry.”

The words would’ve been exactly what Richie had always wanted to hear, but the context in which Eddie was confessing them now just tore his heart in two. “Why are you sorry?”

“For having a creepy little Omega crush on you. For not telling you when you picked me as your roommate. For letting you sleep in this bedroom with me without knowing.”

“Well, jokes on you, Kaspbrak. I picked you to be my roommate because I had a creepy little Beta crush on you. Now who’s the asshole?”

Eddie blinked, still with that somewhat dazed look in his eyes. “Shut the fuck up.”

“You said you love me,” Richie blurted out, his heart going berserk. “Did you mean that? Or is that your hormones talking?”

Eddie seemed to relax and let out a small chuckle. “I did. I do. I love you.”

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to say something like that,” Richie breathed, brushing his hand through Eddie’s hair as he relaxed back down on his side to face Eddie as they laid in his nest. His heart somersaulted in his chest as Eddie scooted closer and slid his leg between Richie’s again, his lithe arms snaking up around Richie’s neck. This was everything Richie ever wanted, holding Eddie and hearing him say those three sweet words to him…

“I love you,” Richie said, the relief in his chest like a deflating balloon. “I love you so much. I’m sorry I never said anything. I never cared about these stupid… pack dymanics. I only ever wanted _you,_ nothing more, I swear. I just -- thought I’d never be enough… as a Beta.”

“Rich,” Eddie whispered, gently grazing his fingers along Richie’s cheek bone; his glasses were askew and hurting his face while he was laying like this, but he didn’t care. “You’re the best person I fucking know.”

“Bullshit.”

“I mean it. Yeah, you don’t shut the fuck up and you can be a dick sometimes -- ”

“Really reiterating that _best person_ statement, huh?”

“But you’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met,” Eddie continued firmly. “I’m serious. I see it every day in the smallest things, how much you care about everyone, about me and even shit you do just to be kind to people you don’t even know and I don’t think I could ever -- deserve you.”

Something akin to rage sparked in Richie’s chest hearing that; he knew it was from shit that Eddie’s mother had spewed to him his whole life, from whatever nightmare fuel Patrick or Henry had hissed into Eddie’s ear when they -- 

“You deserve everything good, Eds,” Richie said sincerely. “You deserve the fucking world and everything I can’t ever give you.”

“I just want you, Richie. That’s all I ever wanted.” 

Before Richie could say another word, Eddie pushed himself forward to catch Richie into a kiss. His brain short-circuited and could only glitch _kiss kiss kiss kiss_ over and over until he felt Eddie’s body press into his, flush against him completely. As much as Richie wanted to rake his hands all over Eddie’s body, run his fingertips over every inch of skin he could reach, the voice in the back of Richie’s head reminded him that this was not the plan.

There was someplace he had to be tonight.

“Eds,” Richie finally whispered, breaking his mouth free just as Eddie was trying to mount him. “You should go to sleep. It’s your first heat since -- since the doc gave you the medicine. You should start resting before you get all crazy tomorrow.”

For whatever reason, that made Eddie giggle, but Richie supposed it was just impending exhaustion met with the delirious joy of the moment. Thankfully, Eddie didn’t fight him on it, rolling back over and taking Richie’s arm to wrap around him as he flipped around until they were spooning like this. Richie almost felt delirious himself in this position, completely snug against Eddie’s back and his face nuzzled into the soft skin of his neck. He had to remind himself that he couldn’t relax -- that he had to savor what he could have at this moment, but he would have to enjoy it more fully later.

“Rich,” Eddie said softly, sighing contentedly under Richie’s arm. “Thank you for not going after Henry’s pack. I know it must seem ridiculous, but I… I couldn’t handle you doing something monstrous like that.”

*******

“What the hell took you so long?” Stan hissed, grabbing Richie by the sleeve to drag him into the barn.

“Where’s everyone else?” Richie asked, ignoring Stan’s question. 

“They’re -- uh… just get over here.”

Richie had been so enraged over the situation, over the individuals that caused it, he wasn’t really prepared for the simplicity and finality of _death._ At first, he thought he was smelling rusty iron and stale meat, until Stan brought him over to the carcasses of three people so unrecognizable, Richie couldn’t even _feel_ anything for them except disgust. When they got close enough, the smell of rot overcame him and Richie felt his stomach churning.

“So much for quick kills,” Richie groaned, turning away to stop his eyes from tearing at the smell. “You guys fucking use them like pinatas?”

“This was all done after. We thought it was best to make them unrecognizable. We charred them up so we can throw them in the barrens later.”

“Like the police in this town would give a shit, anyway,” Richie muttered. “Which one did you do?”

“I didn’t kill any of them,” Stan said quietly.

“Why not?” Richie groaned, still trying not to breathe through his nostrils.

“The others got sick.”

Richie turned on his heel to face the second voice and saw Ben standing against a wood beam, face void of emotion as he stared down at the bodies.

“What do you mean sick?”

“After Bill killed Henry…” Stan began slowly. “He seemed fine _at first,_ and Mike was just in the middle of strangling Belch when Bill started wobbling around and hurling his fucking guts out.”

“It was like he was drunk,” Ben nodded. “I think that means whatever they did worked. We waited a little bit, but he ended up passing out.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t looking forward to it,” Stan mumbled. “So after Mike killed Belch, he quickly strangled Vic and we’ve been trying to char them as much as we could.”

“Get a few teeth for me?” Richie muttered.

“Not quite…”

“We all had an agreement,” Ben said. “This wasn’t for revenge. It was to stop them from doing it again; just like we promised Eddie. If we tortured them too much, then, well…”

“Fuck that shit,” Richie said through gritted teeth. “Where’s Patrick?”

“Over here,” Ben sighed, gesturing for Richie to follow him.

Away from the other bodies, in the dim light of a full moon shining through slats in the old barn roof, Patrick was gagged and tied like a crucifix on another beam supporting the structure of the building. Seeing him sent hot, liquid fire through Richie’s veins, his chest constricting at the sight of the monster that hurt Eddie. Without a second thought, Richie ran straight forward and slammed his fist into Patrick’s face.

“Hey, hey!” Ben exclaimed, pulling Richie back as Patick’s muffled explicivess soaked spit into the gag in his mouth. “Easy, Rich!”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Richie growled, still uselessly fighting against Ben’s massive arms pinning his own at his sides. “Let me fucking _go,_ Ben!”

“Rich,” Stan said calmly when he appeared at Ben’s side. “We’re going to kill him. You just gotta think about this for a minute. Mike and Bill aren’t going to be the same in the morning now -- ”

“Do you think Eddie is going to be the same?” Richie spat at him. “Do you think he’ll ever forget what fucking happened to him?”

In the brief pause before Stan could respond, Patrick giggled -- fucking _giggled_ \-- looking maniacal as he stared at Richie with amusement.

“You think that’s fucking funny, you fucking fuck?” Richie screamed, unable to charge at Patrick and just kicking his legs up into the air pointlessly.

“Rich, I have an idea,” Stanley said, gently handing a knife over to Ben.

Ben, as large as he was, was able to wrap his bulging arm across Richie’s chest and hold him still while holding onto the blade Stanley had given him. Richie looked at it determinedly, grinding his teeth in anticipation of seeing the end of it being stuck into Patrick’s flesh. 

“We can try something first,” Stanley continued. “If we can’t kill him, there’s something else we can do to stop him from doing it again.”

“Why the _fuck_ wouldn’t I kill him?” Richie hissed.

_Because you’re not a monster._

Richie shook Eddie’s voice out of his head. Now was not the time to get sentimental. Patrick deserved what he had coming to him; all of them had.

“Just in case you want to wait for Bill and Mike to get up,” Ben said. “It wasn’t very pretty watching them go through that. You may want to avoid it if you have the chance.”

“Bullshit. Gimme the fucking knife, Ben.”

“Hold on,” Stan said, slowly making his way to Patrick. “We’ll try something else first and see how you feel after, ok?”

With a look of absolute disgust, Stanley yanked down Patrick’s pants to expose lanky legs beneath his boxers. Not wanting to take everything off completely, Stan took a deep breath and knelt down, sliding his hand into the slit on Patrick’s front. He practically gagged when he pulled Patrick’s dick out, trying his best to ignore Patrick’s muffled slurs and grunting. 

“You could always just cut it off,” Ben said in Richie’s ear. “Save the rest of him for when Mike and Bill wake up. Even if he lives, it’s going to be a miserable fucking life without that weapon between his legs.”

“That’s not gonna stop him from hurting people,” Richie scoffed. “If anything, he’ll want to hurt Eddie even _more.”_

“Rich,” Ben said firmly. “It’s not going to be like you think it is. Bill and Mike aren’t going to be the same after this. I’m not just talking about their status bullshit.” Then, more quietly, “Eddie doesn’t want you to do this, Richie. I know you can probably handle it… but can you handle telling Eddie after?”

_I couldn’t handle you doing something monstrous like that._

“Ben, _fuck off,”_ Richie growled, pathetically trying to pry Ben’s arm off of him. “Stop trying to talk me out of this, what the fuck?”

Ben released him so suddenly that Richie stumbled forward and nearly collapsed before quickly recovering. He turned to face Ben with a scowl and held his hand out demandingly for the knife.

“It’s fine, Ben,” Stan said. “Give it to him.”

Richie did not realize how badly his limbs were shaking until the hilt was placed in his palm; his reflection staring back at him through the shine of the blade that shook unsteadily. A sickly feeling settled in his stomach as Richie swallowed a lump in his throat; _nerves._

He shouldn’t be nervous. He should be furious. He should be livid. He shouldn’t even hesitate to turn around and thrust the blade of this knife directly into Patrick’s flesh. He wasn’t a goddamn coward. He could do this. For Eddie.

_Are you sure that’s who it’s really for?_

_He didn’t want you to be doing this._

“God fucking damnit,” Richie muttered, ignoring the pestering voice in his head and turning back to Stan. He was going to drown out that voice with Patrick’s screams if it were the last thing he ever fucking did.

Richie knelt down beside Stan, more thankful than ever that he didn’t have the extraordinary senses of an Omega or Alpha. Just looking at _it_ made Richie angry, thinking about how badly Patrick had hurt Eddie with it and the rage finally boiled high in his chest. Before Richie could stop himself, he shouldered Stanley out of the way and took hold of Patrick’s member and swiftly thrust the knife into the base.

An ear-splitting scream escaped Patrick’s throat above him, only spurring Richie to pull his arm back, spraying Patrick’s blood all over him and Stan as it yanked out of his flesh with a sickening _thwick._ Then, another _squelching_ noise as Richie stabbed Patrick’s dick again -- and again -- until finally --

Stan was quick to catch Richie from falling over after Patrick’s whole appendage had finally been cut clean off, still clutched in Richie’s hand from where he was pulling. Patrick was shaking as blood dripped and sputtered down his thighs and pooled at his boxers. The thing in Richie’s hands flattened as the pressure from his fist pushed out viscera and god knows what else from inside of it. He shook it out of his hand with disgust, watching it flop pathetically on the barn floor.

The support beam Patrick was tied to was creaking as Patrick struggled against it, all of his anger and rage slowly draining out of him with his blood. Richie stared at the scene with wide eyes, feeling sick to his stomach.

“Gimme the knife, Richie,” Stanley said quietly beside him.

But Richie wasn’t _done_ yet. Patrick was still alive and Richie was inches away, _seconds_ away from ending all of this for good and getting rid of this garbage excuse for a human being, this _monster._

_What would that make you if you killed them?_

The knife dropped from Richie’s hand with a dull _thump_ beside him. Because something stirred inside of him, something much more powerful than his rage and hatred towards Patrick; something akin to _fairytale bullshit._

Fucking _love._ For Eddie. Truly, for Eddie.

“I can’t do this,” Richie breathed, his eyes welling up as he felt the heartache in his chest, the despair Eddie would feel if he ever found out Richie had taken someone else’s life. Eddie was too good and pure to ever want such a thing for someone, even someone as despicable as Henry. He may have been able to forgive the others, but he would never forgive Richie for this.

“It’s ok, Richie,” Stan said. “We’ll take care of it. You should go home.”

“I -- ” Richie croaked, his voice catching in his throat on a lump. He couldn’t just stop this because Eddie would be angry at him. Richie had already accepted that he wouldn’t be with Eddie, that Eddie may find someone else and leave Richie forever. Deep down, though, Eddie would hate _himself_ for making Richie feel like he had to do something like this. No matter how any of them might try to convince him otherwise, Eddie may feel like this was somehow _his_ fault.

Richie couldn’t do that to him.

Ben slowly helped lift Richie up unsteadily to his feet. All of his and Stan’s words were just noise in Richie’s head; static. When he turned to leave, he wasn’t even sure if they were still talking to them, letting their presence fade behind him as he carried himself home. 

His feet were heavy. His _chest_ was heavy. As he dragged his body home all of his insides turned uncomfortably and nearly made him sick. Just as he got to the porch -- how he managed to make it that far, he didn’t know -- something ripped through his chest and forced him to grab onto the railing to keep himself from falling over. His other hand clutched his shirt just over his heart, trying to will himself not to have a goddamn heart attack. He needed to get inside. He needed to see Eddie. 

The world was spinning, Richie’s stomach churning at the thought of what he had done, at the thought of what he had _almost_ done to Patrick. His palms were slick with sweat, slipping on his doorknob as he tried to get into his damn room, right now a seemingly impossible task. He wanted to just _be with Eddie,_ but his body was raging and begging for Richie to just take a minute, sit the fuck down and _sleep._

He doesn’t know if he made it to his bed; his vision had gone completely black before he landed on something soft and his mind went blank.

*******

Something sweet and fragrant punched through Richie’s nostrils, startling him awake. He shot up where he laid in the bed, his heart practically thump-thump-thumping out of his chest. The aroma was so pungent, so… _intoxicating,_ more enticing than anything Richie had ever perceived in his life. He turned his head and froze, large brown eyes staring right back at him.

His eyes darted along Eddie’s face -- _god, how had he never noticed it in such detail before?_ Never had he seen just how perfectly unblemished his skin was, the fading sweet freckles under his tanned skin, the delicate way his black fringe curtained over his thick eyebrows. It was like staring at the sun, blinding and nearly painful to look at from the sheer beauty. 

“Eds -- ” Richie tried, but his voice was stuck in his throat, the mouth-watering flavor hanging in the air catching on his tongue. He realized that the smell, the _taste,_ was coming from Eddie, who he had never _smelled_ so powerfully before. Richie immediately wanted to sink his teeth into Eddie’s skin, something _growling_ deep from within his chest, but he somehow was able to suppress it as quickly as it overcame him.

“Hi,” Eddie breathed, that sweet, tangy scent blowing from his lips into Richie’s face, making Richie’s eyelids flutter while trying to stare back at him. He never noticed the flecks of gold in Eddie’s eyes so prominently before, even with how his pupils were blown out nearly to the irises. Eddie’s plump, pink lips were parted and he was breathing shallowly, staring at Richie with wide (even wider than normal) eyes. Before Richie could respond, Eddie’s lips spread out into a bright, infectious smile, white teeth sparkling in the sunlight peeking through the window blinds. 

Before Richie could say another word, Eddie swung himself into Richie’s lap and Richie was barely able to stop himself from squeezing the life out of the tiny body on top of him, the scent circling him and making him so dizzy and --

Eddie sunk so low into Richie’s lap, he could feel how _hard_ he had gotten, and he let out a low hiss, gripping onto Eddie’s waist tightly. He watched with amazement as Eddie leaned forward and took breath, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes with a content sigh.

“You smell amazing,” Eddie whispered breathlessly.

“I -- I do?” Richie choked. Something inside of him should be _panicking,_ but Eddie was so calm and so _delighted_ that it calmed all of Richie’s nerves, washing over him in warm waves. His hands had absently started to roam around Eddie’s body, lithe and delicate in his lap, caressing down his sides and over his thighs until his thumbs felt something _wet_ there and Richie realized then where that incredible scent was _really_ coming from. “You’re -- you’re in heat.”

Eddie nodded, his smile only growing wider as he leaned down into Richie’s ear, whispering the sweetest thing Richie had ever heard: “I want you, Alpha.”

All of Richie’s senses skyrocketed, his pulse pounding in his ears steady and fast, pulling Eddie right up against his chest and eliciting a little gasp from the other man. Richie pressed his nose into the curve of Eddie’s neck and practically _died,_ the smell shooting into his lungs like electricity and the current running straight to his cock. He let out a groan and pressed his fingertips into Eddie’s thighs, wet on the insides with his slick.

_Mine._

Richie should be reminding Eddie who he was -- reminding Eddie that Richie _wasn’t_ an Alpha, but his brain kept steering his thoughts away and back to the moment.

“Eddie,” Richie said firmly, pulling Eddie back to look into his eyes again. “You have… no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

“So what are you waiting for?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Eddie cupped one of Richie’s cheeks, neither taking their eyes off of each other; Eddie was trembling. “You won’t. Please. Please, Richie. I _need_ you.”

A low growl escaped Richie from deep within him, his hands pawing around at Eddie’s sleep shorts until he could slide them around to the side and slip his fingers there between Eddie’s legs. With perfect ease, they slipped right up into Eddie without really meaning to at first, almost on instinct. Eddie let out a whimper which sent a shudder down Richie’s spine, and he crashed his lips against Richie’s with vigor, almost as wet as the spot between his legs. 

Every part of Richie’s body seemed to move on it’s own, moving along with Eddie’s in perfect sync as they began grinding into each other; Richie fucked his fingers in and out of Eddie’s hole while Eddie thrusted his hips into Richie’s and rubbed their cocks together where they sat. The only sounds in the room were tier grunting and the wet little thumps of Richie’s knuckles into the skin between Eddie’s legs where the juices were just dripping out of him into Richie’s hand.

 _“Alpha fuck me please I need you to fuck me so badly,”_ Eddie babbled against Richie’s mouth, so unbelievably desperate, pressing his ass back to get Richie’s fingers in deeper and deeper.

“Hold on, Eds,” Richie said firmly, which made Eddie freeze immediately. “I gotta get you -- ”

“I don’t need it,” Eddie cried. “I’m ready Richie I’m in heat I’m ready god it fucking hurts please I need you I need you.”

If this wasn’t the most beautiful goddamn thing Richie had ever heard in his life.

Despite this new electric feeling in his body, this powerful sensation and urge to fuck the life out of Eddie right here and now, Richie kept his cool, taking a deep and steady breath before taking Eddie’s chin with his free hand.

“I want you to do it, sweetheart. Fuck yourself on my cock. I want you to feel good. I want you to take what you want.”

Eddie whimpered, practically _sobbing,_ pushing himself up to help pull his shorts off. Richie leaned back, shimmying his pants down and watching his cock spring up, already dripping with precum and -- was Richie imagining it? -- much larger and harder than it had ever been before. Drool, literal _drool_ dripped out from Eddie’s mouth as he stared down at it with his mouth slack open, his eyes glazing over and looking lost.

“Stay with me, Eds,” Richie demanded quietly. Eddie’s head sprung back up immediately, nodding fervently.

“Yes, Alpha.”

“It’s Richie, Eds. Just Richie,” he reminded him gently, pulling him back into his lap now that they were both naked and _ready._

“Richie,” Eddie breathed, his chest heaving in short breaths. “Richie -- Richie, can I --?”

Richie fervently nodded before Eddie could finish and their mouths clashed together again while Richie held onto him firmly. Eddie slid down and Richie felt the tip of his cock press up against Eddie’s wet slick so he gripped Eddie around the waist to hold him steady. Feeling the warm, tight heat of Eddie around his cock sent his head spinning and Richie had to squeeze Eddie tightly to steady himself. Eddie was insatiable, not hesitating to sit all the way down before bouncing himself up again and fucking himself senseless.

The warmth between his legs spread through all of Richie’s limbs and the aroma of Eddie’s heat and slick gave Richie the most powerful high of his life. Nothing outside of their bodies mattered and he was getting lost in the symphony of sounds between them, grunting and moaning into each other's skin while their skin slapped together. 

Just under where Richie’s nose was pressed, he parted his lips and sunk his teeth into the supple skin of Eddie’s neck. Eddie’s hands flew up into Richie’s hair, yanking on it tightly and spurring Richie to bite down deeper until he felt a deep, visceral satisfaction. Something spread under Richie’s scalp as an ecstatic, pulsating pleasure rolled into him and he could swear to God, Maturin, Gan, whoever the fuck he had to, that he could feel Eddie _in his head with him,_ webbing together until something just blossomed and _burst._

That’s when Richie felt it -- something swelling and pressing into the walls of Eddie’s insides where he was humping Richie’s cock. There was so much of him inside Eddie, he didn’t even realize he could _be_ this deep, _feel_ this much, but he had no time to wonder as he finally felt his first knot pushing against Eddie’s prostate. The whimpering sounds Eddie made turned Richie’s brain to absolute mush, all static and pleasure as he yanked the back of Eddie’s hair so he could look into Eddie’s eyes.

The most powerful orgasmic explosions rippled through Richie’s body in giant waves, squeezing Eddie tight around the middle. The first came from his own cock and was followed by a sweeping sensation of Eddie’s own orgasm, somehow trickling into Richie’s brain as if their bodies were connected as one organism. Eddie’s cheeks flushed and he let out a sob as his cock spilled onto Richie’s stomach, all while Richie could feel his cum filling Eddie up deep inside. 

Their bodies finally slowed to a stop as Eddie collapsed down onto Richie, limp and exhausted, his breath hot on Richie’s neck. For a few moments, they simply just _breathed,_ letting the moment wash over them in the following silence.

In that silence, Richie began to panic.

“Eddie,” he breathed. “Eds.”

Eddie sat up to look at him again, all tousle-haired and ruddy faced. Richie was pretty sure Eddie’s calm demeanor was the only reason he wasn’t full-on running off and screaming.

“Eddie, I -- I did something.”

“Yeah, we did,” Eddie giggled, his face brightening with a wide smile.

It made Richie want to smile, filling him with undeserved glee, but he needed Eddie to understand the severity of the situation. Eddie’s emotions were ripping through Richie like shrapnel exploding off of Eddie’s joy; he could practically _swallow_ it, all the happy feelings thick in his throat.

“Eds, listen to me,” Richie said firmly, briefly distracted in amazement at Eddie’s immediate obedience. “I got sick. I must’ve -- I must’ve turned. I went out last night and I -- Eddie, I swear I tried to walk away -- ”

“You did walk away,” Eddie told him. One of his hands reached up to cup Richie’s cheek. “Stanley told me.”

“He -- he did?”

Eddie nodded, a small smile coming back to his face. “You didn’t kill him, Richie. I promise. Bill did in the morning, but it’s -- it’s fine. I promise it’s fine.”

“Then why am I _like this?”_

“Do you remember what happened?”

“I… I walked away,” Richie explained slowly. “I was trying to get home to you. I was going to tell you what I did and beg you to forgive me, I think…”

“I would have. I _do._ I do forgive you, Richie.”

Richie did not argue, because he _felt_ it, right in his very soul; Eddie’s forgiveness for his heinous act planting a small seed in his heart. 

“I started changing on the way home,” Richie continued, remembering. “If I didn’t kill Patrick, how is that possible?”

“Ben said it, didn’t he? _Sheer force of will.”_ He shrugged, smiling at Richie and looking almost amused. “Maybe it was love.”

“What, my gay love for you ripped through my chest like a goddamn Care Bear Stare and turned me Alpha?”

“Yup; rainbows bursting and everything,” Eddie giggled, pressing his forehead to Richie’s. “Why not? I always knew you’d be my Alpha deep down… maybe it was just a matter of waiting. I mean, if shape-shifting space clowns exist, why not the power of love?”

“Who’s gonna break it to Stan?” Richie chuckled, finally letting the happiness settle, letting himself accept this feeling of completion with Eddie against him. He took Eddie’s face in both of his hands and pulled him down into a kiss, the feeling of it resonating deep within him. As one of his hands slid down Eddie’s neck, he felt his fingers graze his mate mark there along the nape and it sent a pleasant thrill through him.

_Mine._

To have and to hold, to be here always and protect him; Eddie was finally his. All along, Richie always knew he would do anything for this man no matter what. But all of that was now compounded by a shared love, the powerful connection between them as they both realized how deeply they cared for each other. There was no question as they both felt it now and Richie knew he would spend the rest of his life making Eddie happy. With their new bond, marked by Richie’s teeth on Eddie’s flesh, Richie could already sense just how elated Eddie already was just to be here in his arms.

The seeds were there, planted now in the soils of Richie’s soul. All he had to do was take care of them deeply and wholly, the way Eddie deserved. He’d wait for them to grow and blossom into something truly beautiful and as wonderful as Eddie made him feel. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know there will probably be those disappointed in the lack of revenge, but that was kind of the point. love is more powerful than hate, and big gay love makes you care bear stare your dick bigger for your childhood crush to ride i guess.
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading my hot garbage<3


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